Round-up of the week’s new films
Room 237
(15, 102mins)
EVER watched Stanley Kubrick's The Shining and thought, "What the hell is going on?"
Well the makers of this documentary – named after the infamous room at The Overlook Hotel – have.
They've gathered together a group of Kubrick fanatics who each have their own theories as to what the movie is about.
Theories range from interesting to barmy, and believe me you NEED to have seen The Shining to even begin to get a handle on them.
The more obvious suggestions include things like the film actually being about the slaughter of the Native American Indians.
But just as you're thinking, "Well, that makes sense", someone proposes the movie is Kubrick's admission that he was involved in faking the footage of the Apollo 11 astronauts landing on the moon.
What's even more worrying is that you again find yourself thinking, "Well that makes sense."
Director Rodney Ascher shuns traditional talking heads for film footage with the contributors' voices over the top, which takes some getting used to.
But it gives the film a feel as strange as it's subject matter.
If you're into The Shining, I mean REALLY into The Shining, this is fascinating stuff.
RATING: TWO STARS OUT OF FIVE
Elena
(12A) 109mins
THIS is a Russian film about the divisions caused by wealth in modern-day Moscow, but should only be approached by those with patience.
To give you an idea of the level of patience required, the opening shot is of a tree branch, and lasts about three minutes.
The story revolves around Elena, played by Nadezhda Markina, and her wealthy husband Vladimir (Andrey Smirnov). Both have children from previous marriages and Vladimir gives most of his money to his wayward daughter.
Russian bore ... Elena (Nadezhda Markina) and Vladimir (Andrey Smirnov) play married couple in Moscow
Meanwhile, Elena's son Sergey (Aleksey Rozin) is a layabout who feels Vladimir should also provide him with money, having married his mum.
Despite her best attempts to convince her husband otherwise, Vladimir flatly refuses to provide Sergey with the cash, ultimately leading to desperate actions.
The performances are great and the film portrays a cold, bleak Moscow, but this plods along at such a tedious pace.
The mundanity of the everyday is examined, but do you really want to watch someone slowly making a bed?
RATING: TWO STARS OUT OF FIVE
Dark Tide
(15) 108mins
By GRANT ROLLINGS
"WHAT happened?" screams boat assistant Tommy as Halle Berry's cage-free shark diver Kate comes up gasping for air near the start of this wannabe thriller.
What do you think? A Great White did what it's supposed to do – eat humans for lunch.
A year later Kate is persuaded to go back into the water when a millionaire offers big bucks to try a spot of shark-whispering for himself.
More Snores than Jaws ... Halle Berry stars in this dull 'thriller' about sharks
For the next hour you get arguments between Kate and ex-boyfriend Jeff (Olivier Martinez), the overbearing rich Brit and his son.
And the main action revolves around the fact that they should have got a better boat.
By the finale I really couldn't wait for a fishy predator to strike again – I was definitely on the shark's side.
They were the only thing which was going to save a movie that was more Snores than Jaws.
RATING: TWO STARS OUT OF FIVE
Stitches
By GRANT ROLLINGS
IF you suffer from coulrophobia, Stitches is definitely not the film for you.
Anyone with a fear of clowns would suffer an irreversible breakdown if they watched this kids' entertainer as he goes on a murderous spree of vengeance.
Played by Geordie stand-up comedian Ross Noble, Stitches the clown makes balloon-style doggy models out of intestines and opens up a skull with a tin opener.
It might have you in Stitches ... movie, starring Ross Noble as the murderous clown, is more silly than scary
But most horror fans will see it as glorious OTT gore, with Ross coming off as more silly than scary.
In the simple plot, Stitches dies in a children's party accident and six years later comes back from the dead to kill Tom (Tommy Knight) and his friends.
There are a few clever touches in the storyline, but as with most teen slasher movies, the victims are totally disposable.
So any interest in the film hangs together by a very slender thread.
RATING: THREE STARS OUT OF FIVE
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