Sara Leal Makes Her Return; Still Has the IQ of a 4th Grader.
Remember Sara Leal? She’s already old news. You’re probably using the tabloids she appeared in to line your birdcage.
To refresh your memory, she was the last girl to go to the media with the news that she had let Ashton Kutcher stick his corn dog in her grease vat after he told her he was “separated.” On his sixth wedding anniversary. While his wife was on the other side of the country working.
If you thought that talking to the media about their affair was finally beneath her, BAHAHA! TMZ caught up with her and she insisted that she wasn’t the reason for Asston Koochie and Demi Moore’s demise. She referred to their whole get-together as a mere “bump in the road.”
She explained that their marital problems started long before she arrived, which is probably true, but we like to blame her anyway.
TMZ’s cameraman asked if she’s tried to reach out to Asston or reconcile with him, clearly implying that Ashton wouldn’t vomit at the mere sight of Sara’s name on his caller ID. She shook her head no anyway, as if she’s too good for him.
Didn’t you hear? Sara, like, TOTALLY has, like, standards. Like.
If this girl had half a brain—which we already knew she didn’t—she’d keep her mouth shut. But hey, girlfriend’s gotta pay the bills. What more honorable way to do that than to sell out the married celebrity you schtooped in a hotel room? Classy.
3 Things Celebs Want Us to Think They Do Cause We Actually Do Them
When People reported that Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne shared a “romantic bowling date” in New York, it came as no surprise except we didn’t know bowling was romantic. We’ll keep that in mind for next Valentine’s Day.
Turns out Brody and Avril were attending a launch party for a new app at the Lucky Strike Lanes and decided to get in some bowling and be seen doing that.
Typically, celebs like to be seen doing what normal peeps do so we don’t focus on the fine print in their lives–like what $100,000 car they drove up in.
Here are three other things that celebs like to be seen doing:
- Coffee runs. No, that’s not what you get when you drink too much java. Well, it might be what you get, we don’t know your habits and frankly don’t want to, but what we’re really pointing out is…How many just- leaving-Starbucks pics of Renee Zellweger, Jennifer Garner, or Jennifer Aniston can we stand to see and remotely care about in one week?
- Day out with the kids. Could anything be more adorable than Jessica Alba, husband Cash Warren, and little Honor and Haven out for a day in the park? Except Jessica was beautifully dressed for a print ad in the last episode of Fun with the Kids. In these expeditions, the nanny usually blends into the background or poses as another mom at the park, as the celeb doesn’t want you to know they have help nearby and don’t really have to be on the job like you do.
- Grocery shopping. Dirt’s recent article on Maria Shriver making a Whole Foods run with her kids in tow is a perfect example of how celebs like to load up the cart and stand in line. Household staff certainly can’t be trusted with a list and some cash—they could abscond with the cash or food and never be seen again.
So, the next time you see a photo of a celeb doing one of these activities, you’ll know it’s just jk and done to impress you with their normal-peopleness. In actuality, they usually send their body doubles out, so it’s double jk as they stay home and eat caviar while calling their decorator to re-do the pool house. Just like you did last week–we know, we know.